The Rabbit I Pulled Out Of My Hat

May 30, 2008

Books that are unfilmable

Filed under: books — Tags: , — Paul Crittenden @ 5:06 pm

Jeff VanderMeer’s Ecstatic Days blog has a post here about this list of unfilmable books. The list is pretty good except I think Catcher In the Rye is very filmable. Which is not to say I think it should be or that I think it would make a good movie. But just because Salinger will not let a movie be made does not mean that it is essentially unfilmable.

So what books would you add to the list? I agree with the addition of Mark Z. Danielewski’s book. I would also add David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest. It’s just way too huge.

May 22, 2008

the Kingdom of God thinks I’m a Nazi

Filed under: religion — Tags: , , , , , — Paul Crittenden @ 7:00 pm

So a guy by the name of patrick wrote a comment to my Indy post from May 19. The comment itself was a little cryptic but harmless. Turns out patrick has a blog. In this blog, patrick talks about movies from the perspective of a born-again Christian. Which is Kool and the Gang. But then I read the following in his post on Ben Stein’s new movie, Expelled – No Intelligence Allowed:

Darwinism erects walls between those who believe correctly and those who believe incorrectly. This resembles the efforts of the Nazi party, who used walls to separate themselves from anyone they deemed unacceptable or (in honor of their Darwinian roots) insufficiently evolved. This helped them weed out the weak and imperfect (or anyone who didn’t support their cause). The holocaust was Hitler’s proud attempt at speeding along the evolutionary process.

So I decided I’d wanted to comment on being compared to Hitler. But someone beat me to the punch. I went to the comment section and a very civil, intelligent person by the nom-de-blog of “test” went through and quoted many of patrick’s points and refuted them with level-headed arguments and citations. (The comments section of the post in question can be found here.) patrick’s response?

hello “test”

your response goes like this:

a) a quote from my post
b) why i’m wrong and you’re right

… this pattern repeats until the end of your response. this is unoriginal, unproductive and unenlightening.

Oh yes, and if you study something a lot of course it’s going to affect your morality/worldview. if you are convinced that people are super-evolved animals, for example, you won’t see any harm in “weeding out the herd” as the Nazis attempted to do.

I can’t argue with that logic.

Maybe I shouldn’t have but I posted a response to patrick:

So when someone like test makes a cogent argument based on facts and what you said in your original post he is “unoriginal, unproductive, and unenlightening.” patrick, the intellectual exercise test is engaged in is called “debate” and it has been the accepted way to argue for and against a point for centuries. It blows my mind that someone would completely dismiss another person’s entire argument by dismissing the act of (civil) argument in and of itself.

And of course I (and all other non-murderous folks who accept evolution) have a problem with “weeding out the herd.” That’s like me saying that a Christian obviously has no problem with burning witches or the Inquisition.

Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode, ya know?

Here is the imdb page for Expelled – No Intelligence Allowed.

May 21, 2008

Cory Doctorow on our ignorance of statistics

Filed under: politics — Tags: , , , , — Paul Crittenden @ 2:27 pm

I’m a big fan of Cory Doctorow. Not only is the author of some of my favorite books (especially Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town and Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom) he’s also been a formidable blogger for like ever. Bottom line: he’s a damn smart dude. The article below is from yesterday’s Guardian. The title is “The Odds Are Stacked Against Us.”

The single most pernicious threat to liberty today is humanity’s natural
tendency to misunderstand the statistics of rare events. We’re just not wired to have good intuition about things that happen with extreme infrequency.

I’ll prove it. If we were good at understanding statistics, then here’s what would happen when you flew to Las Vegas. You’d step out of McCarran airport, stare down the Strip at all those glittering, palatial casinos and say to yourself, “Holy crap – think of all the suckers who must have lost everything to finance this place!” Instead, our foolish minds are filled with thoughts like, “Man, look at all the money in this town – I’m going to win big!” And another casino is built.

The rare – and the lurid – loom large in our imagination, and it’s to our great detriment when it comes to our safety and security. As a new father, I’m understandably worried about the idea of my child falling victim to some nefarious predator Out There, waiting to break in and take my child away. There’s a part of me who understands the panicked parent who rings 999 when he sees some street photographer aiming a lens at a kids’ playground.

But the fact is that attacks by strangers are so rare as to be practically nonexistent. If your child is assaulted, the perpetrator is almost certainly a relative (most likely a parent). If not a relative, then a close family friend. If not a close family friend, then a trusted authority figure.

And yet we continue to focus our attention on the meteor-strike-rare paedophile attack instead of protecting our children from the real, everyday dangers they face from the familiar. This has the twin effects of making our children less safe, and of making adults less free, because we are all subjected to scrutiny on the grounds that we may be hunting children.

This is the same calculus that allows the fear of terrorism to take away our liberty: the statistically super-rare terrorist attacks present, on average, a much lower risk to our health, safety and person than, say, depriving us of our liquid medications, or of requiring us to leave our bags unlocked in flight so that sticky-fingered handlers can make off with our laptops and financial data and valuables.

The everyday threat of having our goods stolen, our ability to travel and earn our livings curtailed, and our personal information harvested by every junior terrorist fighter who wants to see your ID before letting you do anything is overshadowed by the one-in-a-billion confluence of someone with terrorist goals, the means to accomplish them, and the intelligence to bring them off (hint: you can’t really blow up an airplane with hair-gel and iPods).

Paradox of the false positive

Our innumeracy means that our fight against these super-rarities is likewise ineffective. Statisticians speak of something called the Paradox of the False Positive. Here’s how that works: imagine that you’ve got a disease that strikes one in a million people, and a test for the disease that’s 99% accurate. You administer the test to a million people, and it will be positive for around 10,000 of them – because for every hundred people, it will be wrong once (that’s what 99% accurate means). Yet, statistically, we know that there’s only one infected person in the entire sample. That means that your “99% accurate” test is wrong 9,999 times out of 10,000!

Terrorism is a lot less common than one in a million and automated “tests” for terrorism – data-mined conclusions drawn from transactions, Oyster cards, bank transfers, travel schedules, etc – are a lot less accurate than 99%. That means practically every person who is branded a terrorist by our data-mining efforts is innocent.

In other words, in the effort to find the terrorist needles in our haystacks, we’re just making much bigger haystacks.

You don’t get to understand the statistics of rare events by intuition. It’s something that has to be learned, through formal and informal instruction. If there’s one thing the government and our educational institutions could do to keep us safer, it’s this: teach us how statistics works. They should drill it into us with the same vigor with which they approached convincing us that property values would rise forever, make it the subject of reality TV shows and infuse every corner of our news and politics with it. Without an adequate grasp of these concepts, no one can ever tell for sure if he or she is safe.

May 19, 2008

my promo for the new Indy movie

Filed under: Humor — Tags: , , , — Paul Crittenden @ 3:28 pm

Since everybody else in the world this week is going Indiana Jones- and crystal skull-crazy, here’s my entry. It’s a repost of a McSweeney’s article entitled, “Back From Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied.”

January 22, 1939

Assistant Professor Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr.
Department of Anthropology
Chapman Hall 227B
Marshall College

Dr. Jones:

As chairman of the Committee on Promotion and Tenure, I regret to inform you that your recent application for tenure has been denied by a vote of 6 to 1. Following past policies and procedures, proceedings from the committee’s deliberations that were pertinent to our decision have been summarized below according to the assessment criteria.

Demonstrates suitable experience and expertise in chosen field:

The committee concurred that Dr. Jones does seem to possess a nearly superhuman breadth of linguistic knowledge and an uncanny familiarity with the history and material culture of the occult. However, his understanding and practice of archaeology gave the committee the greatest cause for alarm. Criticisms of Dr. Jones ranged from “possessing a perceptible methodological deficiency” to “practicing archaeology with a complete lack of, disregard for, and colossal ignorance of current methodology, theory, and ethics” to “unabashed grave-robbing.” Given such appraisals, perhaps it isn’t surprising to learn that several Central and South American countries recently assembled to enact legislation aimed at permanently prohibiting his entry.

Moreover, no one on the committee can identify who or what instilled Dr. Jones with the belief that an archaeologist’s tool kit should consist solely of a bullwhip and a revolver.

Nationally recognized for an effectual program of scholarship or research supported by publications of high quality:

Though Dr. Jones conducts “field research” far more often than anyone else in the department, he has consistently failed to report the results of his excavations, provide any credible evidence of attending the archaeological conferences he claims to attend, or produce a single published article in any peer-reviewed journal. Someone might tell Dr. Jones that in academia “publish or perish” is the rule. Shockingly, there is little evidence to date that Dr. Jones has successfully excavated even one object since he arrived at Marshall College. Marcus Brody, curator of our natural-history museum, assured me this was not so and graciously pointed out several pieces in the collection that he claimed were procured through Dr. Jones’s efforts, but, quite frankly, we have not one shred of documentation that can demonstrate the provenance or legal ownership of these objects.

Meets professional standards of conduct in research and professional activities of the discipline:

The committee was particularly generous (and vociferous) in offering their opinions regarding this criterion. Permit me to list just a few of the more troubling accounts I was privy to during the committee’s meeting. Far more times than I would care to mention, the name “Indiana Jones” (the adopted title Dr. Jones insists on being called) has appeared in governmental reports linking him to the Nazi Party, black-market antiquities dealers, underground cults, human sacrifice, Indian child slave labor, and the Chinese mafia. There are a plethora of international criminal charges against Dr. Jones, which include but are not limited to: bringing unregistered weapons into and out of the country; property damage; desecration of national and historical landmarks; impersonating officials; arson; grand theft (automobiles, motorcycles, aircraft, and watercraft in just a one week span last year); excavating without a permit; countless antiquities violations; public endangerment; voluntary and involuntary manslaughter; and, allegedly, murder.

Dr. Jones’s interpersonal skills and relationships are no better. By Dr. Jones’s own admission, he has repeatedly employed an underage Asian boy as a driver and “personal assistant” during his Far East travels. I will refrain from making any insinuations as to the nature of this relationship, but my intuition insists that it is not a healthy one, nor one to be encouraged. Though the committee may have overstepped the boundaries of its evaluation, I find it pertinent to note that Dr. Jones has been romantically linked to countless women of questionable character, an attribute very unbecoming of a Marshall College professor. One of these women was identified as a notorious nightclub singer whose heart he attempted to extract with his hands, and whom he then tried, and failed, to lower into a lake of magma. Another was a Nazi scholar he was seen courting just last year who, I’m told, plummeted into a fathomless abyss at Dr. Jones’s hand. And, of course, no one can forget the slow decline and eventual death of Professor Abner Ravenwood after Dr. Jones’s affair with Abner’s underage daughter was made public, forcing her to emigrate to Nepal to escape the debacle.

Demonstrates successful record in undergraduate and graduate teaching:

In his nine years with the department, Dr. Jones has failed to complete even one uninterrupted semester of instruction. In fact, he hasn’t been in attendance for more than four consecutive weeks since he was hired. Departmental records indicate Dr. Jones has taken more sabbaticals, sick time, personal days, conference allotments, and temporary leaves than all the other members of the department combined.

The lone student representative on the committee wished to convey that, besides being an exceptional instructor, a compassionate mentor, and an unparalleled gentleman, Dr. Jones was extraordinarily receptive to the female student body during and after the transition to a coeducational system at the college. However, his timeliness in grading and returning assignments was a concern.

Establishment of an appropriate record of departmental and campus service:

Dr. Jones’s behavior on campus has led not only to disciplinary action but also to concerns as to the state of his mental health. In addition to multiple instances of public drunkenness, Dr. Jones, on three separate occasions, has attempted to set fire to the herpetology wing of the biology department. Perhaps most disturbing, however, are the statements that come directly from Dr. Jones’s mouth. Several faculty members maintain that Dr. Jones informed them on multiple occasions of having discovered the Ark of the Covenant, magic diamond rocks, and the Holy Grail! When asked to provide evidence for such claims, he purportedly replied that he was “kind of immortal” and/or muttered derogatory statements about the “bureaucratic fools” running the U.S. government. Given his history with the Nazi Party, I fear where his loyalty lies.

- – - -

To summarize, the committee fails to recognize any indication that Dr. Jones is even remotely proficient when it comes to archaeological scholarship and practice. His aptitude as an instructor is questionable at best, his conduct while abroad is positively deplorable, and his behavior on campus is minimally better. Marshall College has a reputation to uphold. I need not say more.

My apologies,

Prof. G.L. Stevens
Chairman

May 14, 2008

and now for 1001 movies

Filed under: movies — Tags: , — Paul Crittenden @ 3:10 pm

I went over the 1001 books yesterday so I figured today I’d do the movies. You can get the book here and you can see the entire list here. From the list of 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, here are the ones I’ve seen. An asterisk means it’s a favorite.

  1. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919)
  2. Nosferatu, A Symphony of Terror(1922) *
  3. The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
  4. Metropolis (1927) *
  5. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928 ) *
  6. Dracula (1931)
  7. Frankenstein (1931)
  8. M (1931) *
  9. King Kong (1933)
  10. The Thin Man (1934)
  11. The 39 Steps (1935)
  12. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
  13. Sabotage (1936)
  14. Grand Illusion (1937) *
  15. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
  16. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938 )
  17. Stagecoach (1939) *
  18. The Wizard of Oz (1939)
  19. Gone With the Wind (1939)
  20. Wuthering Heights (1939)
  21. Rebecca (1940)
  22. Fantasia (1940)
  23. The Philadelphia Story (1940)
  24. The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
  25. Pinocchio (1940)
  26. Citizen Kane (1941) *
  27. The Wolf Man (1941)
  28. The Maltese Falcon (1941) *
  29. Dumbo (1941)
  30. Sullivan’s Travels (1941)
  31. Casablanca (1942) *
  32. The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)
  33. The Ox-Bow Incident (1943)
  34. Shadow of a Doubt (1943) *
  35. Gaslight (1944) *
  36. Henry V (1944)
  37. Double Indemnity (1944) *
  38. Spellbound (1945) *
  39. The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) *
  40. The Big Sleep (1946) *
  41. The Killers (1946) *
  42. Great Expectations (1946)
  43. Notorious (1946) *
  44. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
  45. The Bicycle Thief (1948 ) *
  46. Rope (1948 ) *
  47. The Lady from Shanghai (1948 ) *
  48. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948 ) *
  49. The Third Man (1949) *
  50. On the Town (1949)
  51. Orpheus (1949) *
  52. Rashomon (1950) *
  53. Sunset Blvd. (1950) *
  54. A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) *
  55. Strangers on a Train (1951) *
  56. The African Queen (1951)
  57. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) *
  58. The Quiet Man (1952)
  59. Singin’ in the Rain (1952) *
  60. High Noon (1952) *
  61. Roman Holiday (1953)
  62. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)
  63. Shane (1953) *
  64. On the Waterfront (1954) *
  65. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
  66. Les Diaboliques (1954)
  67. Animal Farm (1954)
  68. Rear Window (1954) *
  69. La Strada (1954)
  70. The Seven Samurai (1954)
  71. Guys and Dolls (1955)
  72. Bad Day at Black Rock (1955)
  73. The Ladykillers (1955)
  74. Kiss Me Deadly (1955)
  75. Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
  76. The Night of the Hunter (1955) *
  77. Forbidden Planet (1956) *
  78. The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) *
  79. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
  80. The Wrong Man (1956) *
  81. High Society (1956)
  82. The Ten Commandments (1956)
  83. 12 Angry Men (1957) *
  84. The Seventh Seal (1957) *
  85. The Nights of Cabiria (1957)
  86. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) *
  87. Paths of Glory (1957) *
  88. Touch of Evil (1958 ) *
  89. Vertigo (1958 ) *
  90. The 400 Blows (1959) *
  91. North by Northwest (1959) *
  92. Some Like It Hot (1959)
  93. Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
  94. Eyes without a Face (1959) *
  95. Breathless (1959) *
  96. Ben-Hur (1959)
  97. La Dolce Vita (1960) *
  98. Shoot the Piano Player (1960)
  99. Psycho (1960) *
  100. Spartacus (1960)
  101. Last Year at Marienbad (1961) *
  102. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) *
  103. Jules and Jim (1961) *
  104. The Hustler (1961)
  105. West Side Story (1961)
  106. Lawrence of Arabia (1962) *
  107. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) *
  108. The Manchurian Candidate (1962) *
  109. Lolita (1962) *
  110. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) *
  111. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)
  112. My Life to Live (1962)
  113. The Birds (1963)
  114. The Nutty Professor (1963)
  115. 8 1/2 (1963) *
  116. Contempt (1963) *
  117. The Great Escape (1963)
  118. The Haunting (1963) *
  119. Goldfinger (1964)
  120. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)
  121. Marnie (1964)
  122. My Fair Lady (1964)
  123. Dr. Strangelove (1964) *
  124. A Hard Day’s Night (1964)
  125. The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
  126. Doctor Zhivago (1965)
  127. The Battle of Algiers (1965) *
  128. The Sound of Music (1965)
  129. Alphaville (1965) *
  130. Repulsion (1965)
  131. Juliet of the Spirits (1965) *
  132. Blowup (1966)
  133. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966)
  134. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) *
  135. Persona (1966) *
  136. The Graduate (1967) *
  137. Cool Hand Luke (1967) *
  138. Bonnie and Clyde (1967) *
  139. The Jungle Book (1967)
  140. Once Upon a Time in the West (1968 )
  141. Planet of the Apes (1968 )
  142. Rosemary’s Baby (1968 ) *
  143. The Producers (1968 )
  144. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968 ) *
  145. Night of the Living Dead (1968 ) *
  146. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) *
  147. Midnight Cowboy (1969)
  148. Z (1969)
  149. Easy Rider (1969)
  150. The Wild Bunch (1969) *
  151. Woodstock (1970)
  152. Patton (1970) *
  153. M*A*S*H (1970) *
  154. Gimme Shelter (1970) *
  155. A Clockwork Orange (1971) *
  156. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
  157. McCabe and Mrs. Miller (1971)
  158. Walkabout (1971)
  159. Harold and Maude (1971) *
  160. The French Connection (1971)
  161. Shaft (1971)
  162. Dirty Harry (1971)
  163. Straw Dogs (1971)
  164. Cabaret (1972)
  165. Last Tango in Paris (1972)
  166. High Plains Drifter (1972)
  167. Deliverance (1972)
  168. Solaris (1972)
  169. The Godfather (1972) *
  170. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972) *
  171. Pink Flamingos (1972)
  172. The Sting (1973) *
  173. Badlands (1973)
  174. American Graffiti (1973)
  175. Enter the Dragon (1973)
  176. Mean Streets (1973)
  177. The Long Goodbye (1973)
  178. The Wicker Man (1973)
  179. Don’t Look Now (1973)
  180. Sleeper (1973)
  181. Serpico (1973)
  182. The Exorcist (1973)
  183. Fantastic Planet (1973)
  184. Amarcord (1973)
  185. The Conversation (1974) *
  186. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
  187. Young Frankenstein (1974) *
  188. Chinatown (1974) *
  189. Blazing Saddles (1974) *
  190. The Godfather Part II (1974) *
  191. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)
  192. Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
  193. One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975) *
  194. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
  195. The Wall (1975)
  196. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) *
  197. Barry Lyndon (1975) *
  198. Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) *
  199. Nashville (1975) *
  200. Jaws (1975) *
  201. Carrie (1976)
  202. The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
  203. All the President’s Men (1976)
  204. Rocky (1976)
  205. Taxi Driver (1976)
  206. Network (1976) *
  207. The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)
  208. Star Wars (1977) *
  209. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) *
  210. Annie Hall (1977) *
  211. Saturday Night Fever (1977)
  212. Eraserhead (1977) *
  213. The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
  214. Suspiria (1977)
  215. Five Deadly Venoms (1978 )
  216. The Deer Hunter (1978 ) *
  217. Grease (1978 )
  218. Dawn of the Dead (1978 )
  219. Up in Smoke (1978 )
  220. Halloween (1978 )
  221. Alien (1979) *
  222. Breaking Away (1979)
  223. Being There (1979) *
  224. Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
  225. Life of Brian (1979) *
  226. Apocalypse Now (1979) *
  227. The Jerk (1979) *
  228. The Muppet Movie (1979)
  229. Manhattan (1979)
  230. Mad Max (1979)
  231. Nosferatu: Phantom Of The Night (1979)
  232. The Shining (1980) *
  233. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) *
  234. The Elephant Man (1980) *
  235. Airplane! (1980)
  236. Raging Bull (1980)
  237. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) *
  238. The Boat (1981) *
  239. Chariots of Fire (1981)
  240. Body Heat (1981)
  241. An American Werewolf in London (1981) *
  242. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1981) *
  243. E.T.: The Extra-Terestrial (1982) *
  244. The Thing (1982) *
  245. Poltergeist (1982) *
  246. Blade Runner (1982) *
  247. The Evil Dead (1982) *
  248. Tootsie (1982)
  249. Gandhi (1982)
  250. A Christmas Story (1983) *
  251. Videodrome (1983)
  252. Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983) *
  253. The Big Chill (1983)
  254. Terms of Endearment (1983)
  255. The King of Comedy (1983)
  256. The Right Stuff (1983) *
  257. Koyaanisqatsi (1983)
  258. Scarface (1983) *
  259. Amadeus (1984)
  260. The Terminator (1984)
  261. Paris, Texas (1984) *
  262. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
  263. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) *
  264. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
  265. Ghostbusters (1984)
  266. A Passage to India (1984)
  267. The Killing Fields (1984)
  268. The Natural (1984)
  269. The Breakfast Club (1985) *
  270. Ran (1985)
  271. Out of Africa (1985)
  272. The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985) *
  273. Back to the Future (1985) *
  274. Brazil (1985) *
  275. Prizzi’s Honor (1985)
  276. The Color Purple (1985)
  277. Manhunter (1986)
  278. Stand By Me (1986) *
  279. Blue Velvet (1986) *
  280. The Fly (1986) *
  281. Aliens (1986) *
  282. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) *
  283. Down by Law (1986) *
  284. A Room with a View (1986)
  285. Platoon (1986) *
  286. Salvador (1986) *
  287. Top Gun (1986)
  288. Wings of Desire (1987) *
  289. Babette’s Feast (1987)
  290. Raising Arizona (1987) *
  291. Full Metal Jacket (1987) *
  292. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
  293. Broadcast News (1987)
  294. The Princess Bride (1987) *
  295. Moonstruck (1987)
  296. The Untouchables (1987)
  297. The Dead (1987) *
  298. Fatal Attraction (1987)
  299. The Vanishing (1988 )
  300. Bull Durham (1988 )
  301. Akira (1988 ) *
  302. Cinema Paradiso (1988 )
  303. A Fish Called Wanda (1988 ) *
  304. The Naked Gun (1988 )
  305. Big (1988 )
  306. Dangerous Liaisons (1988 )
  307. Grave of the Fireflies (1988 ) *
  308. Die Hard (1988 ) *
  309. Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988 ) *
  310. Rain Man (1988 )
  311. Batman (1989) *
  312. When Harry Met Sally (1989)
  313. Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
  314. The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover (1989)
  315. Drugstore Cowboy (1989) *
  316. The Killer (1989)
  317. Do the Right Thing (1989) *
  318. Glory (1989)
  319. Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989)
  320. Say Anything (1989) *
  321. Reversal of Fortune (1990)
  322. Goodfellas (1990) *
  323. Jacob’s Ladder (1990) *
  324. King of New York (1990)
  325. Dances with Wolves (1990)
  326. Pretty Woman (1990)
  327. Edward Scissorhands (1990) *
  328. Total Recall (1990)
  329. Boyz ‘n the Hood (1991) *
  330. Delicatessen (1991) *
  331. Naked Lunch (1991) *
  332. My Own Private Idaho (1991) *
  333. Thelma & Louise (1991)
  334. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
  335. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) *
  336. JFK (1991)
  337. Slacker (1991) *
  338. Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse (1991) *
  339. Strictly Ballroom (1992)
  340. The Player (1992) *
  341. Reservoir Dogs (1992) *
  342. Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) *
  343. Unforgiven (1992) *
  344. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
  345. Candy Man (1992) *
  346. The Crying Game (1992)
  347. Man Bites Dog (1992)
  348. Groundhog Day (1993) *
  349. Short Cuts (1993) *
  350. Philadelphia (1993)
  351. Jurassic Park (1993) *
  352. The Age of Innocence (1993)
  353. Schindler’s List (1993)
  354. Three Colors: Blue (1993) *
  355. The Piano (1993)
  356. Three Colors: Red (1994) *
  357. Hoop Dreams (1994)
  358. Forrest Gump (1994)
  359. Clerks (1994) *
  360. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
  361. The Lion King (1994)
  362. Natural Born Killers (1994) *
  363. Pulp Fiction (1994) *
  364. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  365. Chungking Express (1994)
  366. Crumb (1994)
  367. Heavenly Creatures (1994)
  368. Casino (1995) *
  369. Babe (1995)
  370. Toy Story (1995)
  371. Strange Days (1995)
  372. Braveheart (1995)
  373. Clueless (1995)
  374. Heat (1995) *
  375. Seven (1995) *
  376. Smoke (1995) *
  377. Dead Man (1995)
  378. The Usual Suspects (1995) *
  379. Fargo (1996) *
  380. Independence Day (1996)
  381. Breaking the Waves (1996)
  382. The English Patient (1996)
  383. Trainspotting (1996) *
  384. Scream (1996)
  385. Deconstructing Harry (1997)
  386. L.A. Confidential (1997) *
  387. Princess Mononoke (1997) *
  388. The Butcher Boy (1997) *
  389. The Ice Storm (1997) *
  390. Boogie Nights (1997) *
  391. Kundun (1997)
  392. The Sweet Hereafter (1997) *
  393. Open Your Eyes (1997) *
  394. Titanic (1997)
  395. Tetsuo (1998 )
  396. Saving Private Ryan (1998 ) *
  397. Buffalo 66 (1998 )
  398. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998 )
  399. Run Lola Run (1998 )
  400. Rushmore (1998 ) *
  401. Pi (1998 ) *
  402. Happiness (1998 ) *
  403. The Thin Red Line (1998 )
  404. Ring (1998 )
  405. There’s Something About Mary (1998 )
  406. Magnolia (1999) *
  407. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
  408. Three Kings (1999)
  409. Audition (1999)
  410. Fight Club (1999) *
  411. Being John Malkovich (1999) *
  412. American Beauty (1999) *
  413. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
  414. The Sixth Sense (1999)
  415. The Matrix (1999) *
  416. Gladiator (2000)
  417. Requiem for a Dream (2000) *
  418. Amores Perros (2000) *
  419. Meet the Parents (2000)
  420. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
  421. Traffic (2000) *
  422. Memento (2000) *
  423. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) *
  424. Amelie (2001) *
  425. Spirited Away (2001) *
  426. The Piano Teacher (2001)
  427. Moulin Rouge (2001)
  428. Mulholland Dr. (2001) *
  429. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) *
  430. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) *
  431. A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (2001)
  432. Gangs of New York (2002)
  433. The Pianist (2002)
  434. City of God (2002) *
  435. Chicago (2002)
  436. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

I have seen 44% of the movies on the list.

I took both today’s and yesterday’s posts about the 1001 things from kottke.org.

May 13, 2008

A whole friggin’ bunch of books you should read

Filed under: books — Tags: , — Paul Crittenden @ 6:56 pm

From the book 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die, here are the ones I’ve read. You can see the entire list here. The ones with asterisks are favorites.

  1. Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell*
  2. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time – Mark Haddon
  3. The Book of Illusions – Paul Auster*
  4. Atonement – Ian McEwan*
  5. House of Leaves – Mark Z. Danielewski
  6. Timbuktu – Paul Auster
  7. Amsterdam – Ian McEwan
  8. Underworld – Don DeLillo*
  9. Infinite Jest -David Foster Wallace*
  10. Mr. Vertigo – Paul Auster
  11. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle – Haruki Murakami*
  12. The Music of Chance – Paul Auster*
  13. Moon Palace – Paul Auster
  14. Foucault’s Pendulum – Umberto Eco*
  15. Libra – Don DeLillo
  16. The Player of Games – Iain M. Banks
  17. The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul – Douglas Adams
  18. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency – Douglas Adams
  19. The Black Dahlia – James Ellroy
  20. The New York Trilogy – Paul Auster
  21. Watchmen – Alan Moore and David Gibbons*
  22. Empire of the Sun – J.G. Ballard
  23. Blood and Guts in High School – Kathy Acker
  24. Neuromancer – William Gibson
  25. Schindler’s Ark – Thomas Keneally
  26. Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
  27. The Name of the Rose – Umberto Eco
  28. If On a Winter’s Night a Traveler – Italo Calvino*
  29. The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams*
  30. The World According to Garp – John Irving
  31. The Shining – Stephen King
  32. Interview With the Vampire – Anne Rice
  33. Breakfast of Champions – Kurt Vonnegut
  34. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – Hunter S. Thompson
  35. Slaughterhouse-five – Kurt Vonnegut*
  36. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? – Philip K. Dick
  37. The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test – Tom Wolfe
  38. One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez*
  39. The Third Policeman – Flann O’Brien
  40. The Magus – John Fowles*
  41. The Crying of Lot 49 – Thomas Pynchon*
  42. Cat’s Cradle – Kurt Vonnegut*
  43. A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess
  44. Pale Fire – Vladimir Nabokov*
  45. Labyrinths – Jorge Luis Borges*
  46. Naked Lunch – William Burroughs
  47. The Lord of the Rings – J.R.R. Tolkien*
  48. The Story of O – Pauline Reage
  49. Lord of the Flies – William Golding
  50. The Old Man and the Sea – Ernest Hemingway
  51. Wise Blood – Flannery O’Connor
  52. Foundation – Isaac Asimov
  53. The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger*
  54. Gormenghast – Mervyn Peake*
  55. I, Robot – Isaac Asimov
  56. Nineteen Eighty-Four – George Orwell
  57. The Plague – Albert Camus
  58. Titus Groan – Mervyn Peake*
  59. Animal Farm – George Orwell*
  60. Ficciones – Jorge Luis Borges*
  61. The Little Prince – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
  62. Farewell, My Lovely – Raymond Chandler*
  63. For Whom the Bell Tolls – Ernest Hemingway
  64. The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
  65. The Big Sleep – Raymond Chandler*
  66. Rebecca – Daphne du Maurier
  67. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
  68. The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien*
  69. Absalom, Absalom! – William Faulkner
  70. At the Mountains of Madness – H.P. Lovecraft
  71. The Postman Always Rings Twice – James M. Cain
  72. Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
  73. The Maltese Falcon – Dashiell Hammett
  74. A Farewell to Arms – Ernest Hemingway
  75. The Sound and the Fury – William Faulkner*
  76. Nadja – Andre Breton*
  77. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd – Agatha Christie*
  78. The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald*
  79. The Trial – Franz Kafka*
  80. Billy Budd, Foretopman – Herman Melville
  81. Siddhartha – Herman Hesse
  82. Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad*
  83. The Hound of the Baskervilles - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  84. Dracula – Bram Stoker
  85. The Time Machine – H.G. Wells
  86. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  87. The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
  88. The Mayor of Casterbridge – Thomas Hardy
  89. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain*
  90. Treasure Island – Robert Louis Stevenson
  91. Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There – Lewis Carroll*
  92. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll*
  93. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo*
  94. Silas Marner – George Eliot
  95. Walden – Henry David Thoreau
  96. Moby-Dick – Herman Melville
  97. The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne
  98. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
  99. The Pit and the Pendulum – Edgar Allan Poe*
  100. Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
  101. Frankenstein – Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
  102. Candide – Voltaire*
  103. A Modest Proposal – Jonathan Swift
  104. Gulliver’s Travels – Jonathan Swift

Which means I’ve read about 10% of the list.

May 6, 2008

idea for a lit essay

Filed under: writing — Tags: , , , , , , , — Paul Crittenden @ 7:11 pm

Back when I was in college at UAB I took a Shakespeare course taught by my favorite professor, Dr. Stephen Glosecki. (I also, based on my experience in Shakespeare, ended up taking his Literature of the Vikings course.) During our discussions of Macbeth we talked about Lady Macbeth as an example of the femme fatale archetype. When we got to Hamlet we talked about how Ophelia is Lady Macbeth’s polar opposite. Lady Macbeth drives her husband to murder and madness while Ophelia assumes a proxy-type role for Hamlet and takes his madness on herself, eventually collapsing under the pressure and committing suicide. Ophelia goes insane with grief so that Hamlet doesn’t have to, allowing him to move forward soberly with his plans for revenge. Notice how Hamlet is able to pretty much hold it together until Ophelia’s death. Without his proxy he has no choice but to fall prey to the madness that he’s been feigning since deciding to get revenge on Claudius.

In an essay I wrote for the class I used the term “femme vitale” in describing Ophelia. Glosecki’s note in red was “great term – coin it!” When I wrote the paper I just assumed it was a real literary term. It sounded like it should be. Surely I wasn’t the first to use it. Since then, though, I’ve never come across it. So I figure I need to take Dr. Glosecki’s note to heart before somebody else has the idea.

It would be a fun essay to research and explore. I could pull in film noir and detective fiction and really just have a blast with it. My only is that it’s not exactly a feminist idea. I mean I’m talking about women who sacrifice themselves so that their men can acheive something. I’ll have to think about this…

May 5, 2008

JFK on being a liberal

Filed under: politics — Tags: , , — Paul Crittenden @ 1:24 pm

“…if by a ‘Liberal’ they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties — someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a ‘Liberal,’ then I’m proud to say I’m a ‘Liberal.’” — JFK, NY Liberal Party Nomination, 9/14/1960

I took the above from here.

May 2, 2008

Roger Ebert’s review of Last Year at Marienbad

Filed under: movies — Tags: , , , — Paul Crittenden @ 3:34 pm

Chicago theater The Music Box will be screening a new print of the sublime Last Year at Marienbad for a week starting today. In celebration of this Roger Ebert, film guy for the world in general and Chicago Sun-Times specifically, has reminded us of his May 30, 1999, Great Movie review of the French classic. As some or most of you know, Marienbad is one of my favorite movies and I never let pass a chance to sing its praises, even if by proxy. Having said that, here is the text of Ebert’s review.

How clearly I recall standing in the rain outside the Co-Ed Theater near the campus of the University of Illinois, waiting to see “Last Year at Marienbad.” On those lonely sidewalks, in that endless night, how long did we wait there? And was it the first time we waited in that line, to enter the old theater with its columns, its aisles, its rows of seats–or did we see the same film here last year?

Yes, it’s easy to smile at Alain Resnais‘ 1961 film, which inspired so much satire and yet made such a lasting impression. Incredible to think that students actually did stand in the rain to be baffled by it, and then to argue for hours about its meaning–even though the director claimed it had none. I hadn’t seen “Marienbad” in years, and when I saw the new digitized video disc edition in a video store, I reached out automatically: I wanted to see it again, to see if it was silly or profound, and perhaps even to recapture an earlier self–a 19-year-old who hoped Truth could be found in Art.

Viewing the film again, I expected to have a cerebral experience, to see a film more fun to talk about than to watch. What I was not prepared for was the voluptuous quality of “Marienbad,” its command of tone and mood, its hypnotic way of drawing us into its puzzle, its austere visual beauty. Yes, it involves a story that remains a mystery, even to the characters themselves. But one would not want to know the answer to this mystery. Storybooks with happy endings are for children. Adults know that stories keep on unfolding, repeating, turning back on themselves, on and on until that end that no story can evade.

The film takes place in an elegant chateau, one with ornate ceilings, vast drawing rooms, enormous mirrors and paintings, endless corridors and grounds in which shrubbery has been tortured into geometric shapes and patterns. In this chateau are many guests–elegant, expensively dressed, impassive. We are concerned with three of them: “A” (Delphine Seyrig), a beautiful woman. “X” (Giorgio Albertazzi), with movie-idol good looks, who insists they met last year and arranged to meet again this year. And “M” (Sascha Pitoeff), who may be A’s husband or lover, but certainly exercises authority over her. He has a striking appearance, with his sunken triangular face, high cheekbones, deep-set eyes and subtle vampirish overbite.

The film is narrated by X. The others have a few lines of dialogue here and there. On the soundtrack is disturbing music by Francis Seyrig, mostly performed on an organ–Gothic, liturgical, like a requiem. X tells A they met last year. He reminds her of the moments they shared. Their conversations. Their plans to meet in her bedroom while M was at the gaming tables. Her plea that he delay his demands for one year. Her promise to meet him again next summer.

A does not remember. She entreats X, unconvincingly, to leave her alone. He presses on with his memories. He speaks mostly in the second person: “You told me … you said … you begged me … .” It is a narrative he is constructing for her, a story he is telling her about herself. It may be true. We cannot tell. Resnais said that as the co-writer of the story he did not believe it, but as the director, he did. The narrative presses on. The insistent, persuasive X recalls a shooting, a death. No–he corrects himself. It did not happen that way. It must have happened this way, instead … .

We see her in white, in black. Dead, alive. The film, photographed in black and white by Sacha Vierny, is in widescreen. The extreme width allows Resnais to create compositions in which X, A and M seem to occupy different planes, even different states of being. (The DVD is letterboxed; to see this film panned-and-scanned would be pointless.) The camera travels sinuously; the characters usually move in a slow and formal way, so that any sudden movement is a shock (when A stumbles on a gravel walk and X steadies her, it is like a sudden breath of reality).

The men play a game. It has been proposed by M. It involves setting out several rows of matchsticks (or cards, or anything). Two players take turns removing matchsticks, as many as they want, but only from one row at a time. The player who is left with the last matchstick loses. M always wins. On the soundtrack, we hear theories: “The one who starts first wins … the one who goes second wins … you must take only one stick at a time … you must know when to … .” The theories are not helpful, because M always wins anyway. The characters analyzing the stick game are like viewers analyzing the movie: You can say anything you want about it, and it makes no difference.

“I’ll explain it all for you,” promised Gunther Marx, a professor of German at the U. of I. We were sitting over coffee in the student union, late on that rainy night in Urbana. (He would die young; his son Frederick would be one of the makers of “Hoop Dreams.”) “It is a working out of the anthropological archetypes of Claude Levi-Strauss. You have the lover, the loved one and the authority figure. The movie proposes that the lovers had an affair, that they didn’t, that they met before, that they didn’t, that the authority figure knew it, that he didn’t, that he killed her, that he didn’t. Any questions?”

I sipped my coffee and nodded thoughtfully. This was deep. I never subsequently read a single word by Levi-Strauss, but you see I have not forgotten the name. I have no idea if Marx was right. The idea, I think, is that life is like this movie: No matter how many theories you apply to it, life presses on indifferently toward its own inscrutable ends. The fun is in asking questions. Answers are a form of defeat.

It is possible, I realize, to grow impatient with “Last Year at Marienbad.” To find it affected and insufferable. It doesn’t hurtle through its story like today’s hits–it’s not a narrative pinball machine. It is a deliberate, artificial artistic construction. I watched it with a pleasure so intense I was surprised. I knew to begin with there would be no solution. That the three characters would move forever through their dance of desire and denial, and that their clothing and the elegant architecture of the chateau was as real as the bedroom at the end of “2001”–in other words, simply a setting in which human behavior could be observed.

There is one other way to regard the movie. Consider the narration. X tells A this, and then he tells her that. M behaves as X says he does–discovering them together, not discovering them, firing a pistol, not firing it. A remembers nothing, but acts as if she cares. She thinks she hasn’t met X before, and yet in some scenes they appear to be lovers.

Can it be that X is the artist–the author, the director? That when he speaks in the second person (“You asked me to come to your room … ”) he is speaking to his characters, creating their story? That first he has M fire a pistol, but that when he doesn’t like that and changes his mind, M obediently reflects his desires? Isn’t this how writers work? Creating characters out of thin air and then ordering them around? Of course even if X is the artist, he seems quite involved in the story. He desperately wants to believe he met A last year at Marienbad, and that she gave him hope–asked him to meet her again this year. That is why writers create characters: to be able to order them around, and to be loved by them. Of course, sometimes characters have wills of their own. And there is always the problem of M.

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